Mexico does not have much in the way of flora or fauna that will kill you. Unlike Australia, where almost everything can kill you, Mexico is harmless" ?to a point.

Mexico does have one of the most lethal scorpions in the world. "About 20 scorpion species worldwide also have venom potent enough to be considered deadly to humans. The world's most dangerous scorpions live in North Africa, the Middle East, South America, India, and Mexico."

In an article written by Dr. Charlie Easmon called Scorpion Stings and Spider Bites, he says, "In Mexico each year 1000-2000 deaths occur from scorpion bites"?.

I've had the privilege of being stung by a Mexican scorpion. It was riding on our broom where my right index finger was when it attacked me. However, it was not one of the lethal ones because I am typing these words and not pushing up daisies. (I squashed it into oblivion!)

Mexico also has its share of deadly coral snakes and a nasty snake called the Fer-de-lance. Take my word for it that you don't want to mess with either of these snakes. Do what I do should you encounter a snake in Mexico: Run screaming in the other direction like a girlie-man. I demonstrated this technique last spring when a snake (a harmless one) got into our kitchen and crawled across my right foot.

There is a strange plant in the jungles of Puerto Vallarta that has some strange and disturbing properties. The locals call it by a specific name that describes its hideously poisonous effects. I cannot confirm its name but I can confirm its effects because during the Christmas of 2004, I ran into it during our visit to Puerto Vallarta.

True to the local's description, this plant did a number on my skin and a part of my body that real men hold near and dear. It apparently is like poison ivy in that it covers your body with the most painful itching rash you can possibly imagine. You have to seek medical attention. Don't play around with this!

The other side effect of casually walking through its evil spores is that, if you are a male of our species, it causes your testicles to swell up to the size of tangerines! I am not making this up! I was in torturous pain and agony for most of 8 weeks! I am better. Thanks for asking.

It seems Mexico's flora and fauna come looking for me regularly. I don't know what it is, but since moving here, we discovered a nest of scorpions in our apartment. I was stung by one. There was that snake in our kitchen that caused me to embarrass myself with my womanly screaming. Then, of all things, my wife comes rushing into the bedroom this afternoon to tell me there is a hawk in the dining room.

There in our dining room was a small crow-sized hawk desperately afraid and trying to get out of our house into which he accidentally came to call.

See what I mean?

The creature was beautiful but it had to go. I got the trash can lid, in case it decided to maul me, and the broom (I checked for scorpions). My plan was to shoo it out the front door that we had opened. To my amazement, the raptor jumped onto the broom and perched there until I hauled its little feathery butt out the front door.

Now, this should not stop you from expatriating to Mexico. Just because we have here one of the top 5 deadliest scorpions in the world that will nest in your house, two snakes whose venom makes a cobra look like a stuffed toy, snakes coming in the kitchen, and birds of prey that will fly into your home; these shouldn't stop you from coming to live in Mexico.

See you soon!