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Main Page –› Society & Communities –› Fun & Humor
 

If You Don't Know, Mumble

 
Author: John Dir
 

Lately, I have had a hard time understanding the language coming across my answering machine. The volume on the messages is adequate, but the speech is garbled by the familiarity of the caller.

If a stranger calls to leave you information regarding the purpose of their call, they had better hope they do not have an unusual name, or there could be real trouble. Recently, I got a call from someone at a company. They slurred their words together so badly, all I could catch from playing the message back at least 10 times was a first name and a telephone number to return the call.

I don't know how most people feel, but I am very uncomfortable with returning calls to people I do not recognize, for fear of receiving a phone solicitation. As I tried to catch the company name given in the message, I went back over several weeks of contact information, and found the name of a company that sounded the most like the slurred name in the message. I looked in my address book, and found there was indeed a company with that phone number in my book, but the person who left the message was not anyone I had notes of speaking with before.

Since the number left on my answering machine was a long distance number, I went out on the web to see if the company had a toll free number to call. I got a toll free listing, and dialed it, only to get an automated menu that required touch tone of the first four letters of the first name to make a contact.

The person I tried to call sounded like the first name was Cory, Corey, Carie, or something like that, and trying the name got me caught up in four dead end loops on the automated system. On the fifth try at the automated menu, I left a message that I was returning a call from ... then I mumbled the best reproduction I could make of the garbled name from the previous message. I had no idea what I was saying, but it was as close as I could get to the way the person had rattled off their name. I might just as well have said the name Coryworm.

To my surprise, I got a return call a few minutes later from the right person. So, in today's rapid business world, if you have a phone number and a good mumble, all will turn out right in the end. However, if you have an unusual name and want to leave someone a message, enunciation is the better part of valor.

 
 
 

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